Starting with the other half

Today, I was flicking through youtube and came across a video. Now, mind you, only moments before I was flicking through facebook on a friend's page. She was excited about a job and she posted a video of what we can call a "praise break". I watched that video and had a couple of thoughts.

• we're so afraid of that happening to us in church it isn't funny. just being caught up like that? looking foolish in front of other people (who aren't even paying attention)? no thanks. at the same time, that's what this kingdom is all about. why are we so afraid? why? why? why?
• some people do that after things happen, but our faith requires us to have eyes to see what is not yet seen by others because God shows them to us.

That second point led me to think: it's okay to thank God now for things that haven't happened, yet. God calls us blessed for having eyes to see things that are yet to be and behaving as if they already are. That brought me to the video I mentioned earlier.

As I thought about what I would do that for, I thought about preaching in places and speaking in churches and then my world shrank to my house. So many things going on here. Not horribad, but we struggle. Financially, emotionally, spiritually -- we're surviving, but God calls us to thrive, flourish, be fruitful. My roommates... I don't know where in their journeys they are. I just know they're in pain. Then I thought about Paul and Silas and remembered some things from my earlier parts of my walk.

Gosh, that's changed so much since the first day. It feels so distant sometimes, but those lessons and what God did to and in me through them still has such a grasp on me it will never be erased. So then, I remember writing: when your praise is big enough, it makes other people free, too. I'll write that again:

When your praise is big enough, it makes other people free, too.

The principle is simple enough: freedom is contagious. No, I'm not saying you have to do any particular thing. There isn't a formula or a sign to know that praise is big... other than other people being affected by the freedom that possesses you...

After a while of surfing that, I ran into the next couple of videos and all of them had the same theme in them. I finally ran into this:

This says so much in so small a space. This is so much like how I feel sometimes. I've been through a lot in the last few years. A lot. Being all grown-up and all this stuff with bills, issues with relationships (friendship or otherwise), and so on has beaten me up a little. Friction with people at church makes me averse at times to going at all (although I do enjoy it when I go). I swear sometimes. A lot less lately, but for a while it was annoyingly frequent. That's just where I've been.

However, there are parts of me that work. God still speaks to me to move for someone and I do it. I remember to read. I remember how to pray. I still remember my lessons about speaking the truth in love and loving people that are different from myself. I know how to submit to the path God is leading me in even when I falter here and there.

Sometimes we feel like if we mess up in one area, we're automatically disqualified for everything, but that's not true. There's hope. There's restoration. We can learn lessons, dust off, and keep going. Not by focusing on where we fail, but in looking at what we have left and letting God sort out our mess (which includes listening to Him when He says "do this" and "don't do that anymore").

That's the hope I want to give you and myself: God can bring us out of this madness and darkness using what we have left and there's always going to be that something in us if He has our hearts. The first place to start is where we know we connect with God and to grow from there.