Flying Solo

This will not be a poetic post.

Sometimes you can't choose who you love or why. You simply love them with your heart on the line. After that, you just hold on for dear life and hope that love is returned. Most times, it is. At the same time, it's rarely even.

When that happens, there's nothing to be done and no one to blame. There can only be acceptance. You will want to say that the other person -- whether friend, family or lover -- never truly loved you and you must resist that urge with all your might. In the end, we won't be judged or measured by how much love we were given in return, but by how much we we pour out into others and, by extension, the world. It is not, nor has it ever been, our place to decide who should be loved. I commit to live love fearlessly, without regret and in a state of rest; no matter what happens, I will be okay and love is always worth it no matter how I feel.

Related to this, but applicable to all things is that, in the end, your reasons must be your own. Believing, doubting, loving, hating, all of it. The reasons must be your own. Some parts and paths in life will leave you (hopefully) standing and from there, you can choose to fall down and fold because the crowd has moved or the emotional high wore off and things aren't as "new"...

...or you can choose to keep going on and make your path your own. I've run into some things -- treasures I will carry forever -- that I will fight to keep for the rest of my life. That song, that training, that experience, that connection that ran so deep, that decision to change my life, that realization/revelation that took my life to different dimension, that feeling of living so much and being so thankful that I cried... I will keep them. They are mine and even if I never see the places or people those treasures came from again, I hold them with me always and I will walk on even if I walk alone.

I wish I could tell you that if you're a good friend you will always have one but the truth is that, even of you did, you will find yourself alone. The thing you must remember when you are alone is that alone is never forever when love is involved. Alone will end and community will find you again. Maybe not the live you want or wanted but more than you will ever need.

Fight on.

As a friend would say, "Live free".

To that, I add: love hard, hold on.