I am in bed and struggling to even think of being awake let alone going to church. At the same time, I couldn't resist the call of the Spirit speaking to my own.
I got to the Methodist church at the end of the street in about 20 minutes and walked in. Service had started and I settled in. They start talking about Ephesians 3:14-20 or so. Being filled with fulness of God. The thing I heard them praying before I walked in.
I sat down and listened and thought about what fullness meant. More than anything else, it means that there's no room for anything else. Fullness is fullness. There's no emptiness in it. Almost as if to echo the same thing, the pastor said the same thing in almost those exact words.
This Sunday was a communion sunday. I thought about all the things Paul said about communion. People were becoming sick and falling asleep because they abused communion. I thought about myself. When I took the bread (after much hesitation), I prayed.
Then I took communion. It was a very small, calm, quiet church, but it was family. I felt at home. The people being welcoming and going out of their way to greet me helped with that.
I walked home with a visitor gift basket and thought about everything I heard today. I'm still thinking about it even as I sit here and occasionally swear at this mildly frustrating game I'm playing. He's still at work on me and He won't let me go until I'm full and there's no room for anything else in my life but Him.
To say the least, I'm encouraged by that.
I didn't want to go.... but I'm glad I did.
Get up. You have to go. It's time.I fought anyway. I checked some stuff on facebook. Chatted with someone on Skype. Checked RSS feeds and emails. I turned over. It's Sunday. I don't have any reason to be awake and I don't feel like doing anything.
Get up. You promised Me. You hear Me speaking to You. I want You to go. Get up. Get. Up. GET. UP.Okay, God. Okay. I don't know why or what for, but okay. I'm going.
I got to the Methodist church at the end of the street in about 20 minutes and walked in. Service had started and I settled in. They start talking about Ephesians 3:14-20 or so. Being filled with fulness of God. The thing I heard them praying before I walked in.
I sat down and listened and thought about what fullness meant. More than anything else, it means that there's no room for anything else. Fullness is fullness. There's no emptiness in it. Almost as if to echo the same thing, the pastor said the same thing in almost those exact words.
This Sunday was a communion sunday. I thought about all the things Paul said about communion. People were becoming sick and falling asleep because they abused communion. I thought about myself. When I took the bread (after much hesitation), I prayed.
God, sometimes I really look at this and wonder if I'm worth any of it. I'm certainly not deserving of any of it. Especially considering all the foolishness I've been prone to as of late and will probably fall into a day, week or hour from now. Thank you for loving me and calling me your own, anyway. Keep working on me. Even when I go kicking and screaming, the same way I came here today.
Then I took communion. It was a very small, calm, quiet church, but it was family. I felt at home. The people being welcoming and going out of their way to greet me helped with that.
I walked home with a visitor gift basket and thought about everything I heard today. I'm still thinking about it even as I sit here and occasionally swear at this mildly frustrating game I'm playing. He's still at work on me and He won't let me go until I'm full and there's no room for anything else in my life but Him.
To say the least, I'm encouraged by that.
I didn't want to go.... but I'm glad I did.
No comments:
Post a Comment